My NO TECHNO DAY!!!

In the last post, I talked about going for a day without technology. And I left you with a challenge, to do it along with me... so did anyone accept my challenge?

That same challenge was given to me at church last Wednesday, and I thought, no... I can't do that, it's not possible. As my youth pastor listed off all the things we couldn't do, I thought it would be impossible for me to do it, but it wasn't, not at all.

Okay, you may be thinking, why did you think this was going to be so hard for you? And here is my answer. I am ALWAYS on the computer. Always updating my blog, talking to friends on aim, or whatever. I am always on the computer doing something, or I am watching TV or a movie or whatever. I am always using technology. So when my youth pastor said I couldn't, the first thing that popped into my head, was just don't do it. And I was just like, whatever I won't even try. Then one of my friends at church was like, you going to do it? And I was like, I don't know, I will try. So, I decided to do it. I told some of my friends that I wouldn't be online tonight, and that I would be away from the computer and the phone all night, and that I wouldn't be able to talk to them really at all, and they all said okay, which then got a load off my chest. I didn't have to worry about them calling or whatever, and wanting to talk, and then me having to say that I wasn't aloud on the phone and yeah...

I decided that I wanted to add on to my challenge for myself, and I was going to spend the time that I would normally be online or watching TV or whatever, and I was going to spend it with God. So... I got up in the morning, and I went to school, that was easy, I didn't have to worry about technology there. I got home at around 4:30 from school, and I went and did some of my homework. I got most of it done, except for my Bible journal. So, I decided that I would do devotions and spend some time with God, but then my dad called me down for dinner. I ate, and then my dad decided that he would take me and my bro out for ice cream. So, I went. When I got home it was about 7:30, and I took out my Bible, once again, and I sat down at my desk. And I decided that for the next half an hour, I would spend it with God, in quiet time with him. As I was listening to Christian music in the background, I sat and thought. And... a lot went through my head about what was going on in my life at the time. I flipped through the Bible, and came to Matthew 5:3-12 which is the beatitudes. I read through them, and some of them really just stuck out to me. I just sat and thought for a little while, and something came to me... it was one of those moments... those God moments. And my favorite verse of all time popped into my head. Jeremiah 29:11... and it just reminded me that whatever I am going through, no matter if it is hard or easy, God cares about it, and has a plan in it all. He cares about me, and is watching over me, and that was just a simple thing I have heard so many times, but right now as I am typing this... it has a huge meaning to me. Just to think that God really does care about me, and has a plan for me, just make me smile. He had a plan in everything he did. He had a plan in my mom dying when I was 18 months old, even tho to me it sure doesn't seem that way sometimes. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON! I always have to remember that, and it's a lesson that we all have to learn. That is the lesson I am still learning, and it all came to me that night, when I was away from all technology, sitting in my room alone, listening to Christian music, and spending time with God. After a lot of thought, I decided to write in my Bible journal, and I ended up writing a 3 page entry... and the next thing I knew it was 9:30 at night. I had done it, I had gone a day without technology.

For me, it was an awesome experience... so if you didn't do it last time, why not give it a shot?

Technology

Technology.... it's a big part of life. Think about the last time you used to phone, or where on the computer doing emails, IM, or when you last listened to music on your ipod, MP3 player, the radio, what about the last time you watched TV... or a movie or anything... see how often we use technology... ALL THE TIME!

Along time ago... there wasn't all this, but now our world is abdicated to technology. We are always on the computer, IM, watching TV, listening to music... anything! We are always doing something with technology. What if you didn't have it? What if you took a whole 24 hours just to see what it was like BEFORE we had all this up to date, cool technology.

I am going to give you a challenge today, and you can chose to accept it or not. I am giving you the challenge, from 12:00 midnight tonight, till 12:00 midnight tomorrow night, to not use technology at all. And that means...

-no phone: home and cell phone... except in emergency
-no computers: no IM, no email
-no TV: no movies, no TV shows
-no music: no radio, MP3 player, Ipod
-NO TECHNOLOGY!

And you may be thinking... I have school or work tomorrow, I can't do that. I have to do homework on the computer, or work from the computer... okay well you can do that, but that doesn't count talking to a friend on IM while you are doing you homework, or checking you e-mail while you are online. That means, that you can only do your homework. You can answer the phone if it is an emergency or anything like that, but you can't call your best friend and talk on the phone for hours on end. You can't just turn on the TV to watch something cause you feel like it, and you want to relax... get out a book and read! No MUSIC... which means.... your alarm tomorrow... can't be the radio. You can't have it turn on to music... you have to make it do that dumb little beeping sound, yes annoying, but this is part of your challenge. You can't listen to music as you get ready for school tomorrow morning, or an ipod or MP3 after school, you have to just keep it all locked away, just for A DAY!!!

You may be thinking... wow! That's harsh... and if that is what you are thinking... you are TOO ADDICTED to technology. You spend too much time on it, enough that you can't spend a day without it?!

Think about what Jesus did for you on that cross on that day... when he was nailed to a cross... think about someone who took all your sins away from you... someone as great as someone who performs miracles, someone as great as that, but still we get all caught up in technology, and we can't just spend one day away from it.

So, this is my challenge, from 12:00 tonight, until 12:00 tomorrow night... NO TECHNOLOGY! NOTHING! Can you do it? Do you accept my challenge?

I have made it to 100!!!

I have officially made 100 posts on this blog... and that is kinda scary... but this is probably the weirdest post you will ever read, and maybe to some of you it won't make sense at all... but to others maybe it will change your prospective on life... who knows?

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to run from your life? Like you are having a really bad day, or week, or time in your life, and you just want to run from it, but you can't, cause it always comes back to you? Those times when your life is so bad, and things only get worse? Every little word gets on your nerves, and little things people say to you, hurt you in a huge way, and then since you are having a bad day, you end up hurting those who care about you, and you just feel alone, like no one cares about you...

I know I have had those days... those hard times in life that come out to haunt you, and when you feel so alone in this world, and that no one cares about you.... and you don't see why you should talk to anyone about your problems, cause no one cares anyway...

But one person does care and he cares a lot about you, after all you are his creation... God does, and a lot of times there is more people then just God, but God is one who will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what. He won't get mad at you for being such a jerk to him today, just because you had a bad day, and your anger came out in the wrong ways, he won't ignore you, like some of your friends might do... he will just listen to you talk about everything that is going on in your life, that is so bad, or he will even listen to you talk about the good things in life. And he will always be there for you, and love you and care for you, no matter how bad you have been. God created you with a plan and a purpose, perfect in his eyes, and he loves and cares about you, A LOT!! He will always be there for you when you need someone to run to, and no one else will listen. He will wipe your tears as you cry and he will just sit and listen.

But, I also encourage you to find a friend that you can trust and count on, who you can come to because you are having a bad day, and they will understand and listen as you talk, and who will put their hand on your shoulder, and pray over you when you need it, and who will catch your tears as they run down your face, and will give you a hug and some love when you need it, and no one else will give you that love. When you feel alone, remember that you have a friend by your side, at least one... God! And look around at the friends that you have in your life, that walk you through the hard days, and take the moment to thank them for that.

Grape/Knight: If you ever need me, I want to be here for you. Just like you have always been there for me. If you need a hug, a shoulder to cry on, some encouragement during a tough day, and just some love and fun times with a friend, don't be afraid to come to me. All I want is to be here for you, and be someone you trust and someone that you can always count on. I work on that, and hope that some day I can be that friend for you... just like you are for me! You mean so much to me, I don't know how I could thank you enough! Thanks.... for everything!

Jesus LOVES YOU!

Ever felt alone? Like no one cared about you? Like no one was going to be there for you? Like your living you life, fighting battles...all alone? Walking through life with no one by your side? Like no one got what you were going through? And if you tried to explain, they would just think it was dumb?

I bet if we were all honest, we would answer at least once, yes to one of those questions, and maybe even yes to all of them. I know for a fact that I would answer yes to at least one of those, and the thing is, is that we all feel alone at one time or another. Alone in our struggles, alone in our lives. You know how many times that I have felt alone? Way more times then I could ever count. No one is this world seems to go through what I go through everyday... key word though... SEEMS.

Think about yourself for a second... think about the things you go through everyday, and the hard times you have had in your life... now think of one person that has the same problem... when you think about it, can you find someone? Maybe some of you say yes, maybe some of you say no. But someone out of the millions of people in this world is going through, just about the same thing you are, that might even be the person who sits next to you in school, or at work, or at Church, or a person that passes you in the store...or it could even be your best friend. We are all pretty good at hiding everything, and keeping it all to ourselves, and that is why our world looks so perfect, but really our world is pretty messed up. Everyone struggles with something, maybe not as Major as someone Else's, but it is still just as important.

God created us all different... and he created us all perfect just the way we are. With a plan and a purpose... everyone! The includes the person who just bugs you to death, and the one person in school who always picks on you.... which means, you still have to love them, just as God loves you.

But, anyway... back to the point...alone... bored.... alone with nothing to do, no one to talk to... all alone, living your hard life... all alone...do you ever feel like there is a constant battle going on over your head? As sad as it may be... it's true. Between God and the evil one, who wants to control your life, but you have to chose who you really want to take control. Are you going to let God take control and never be alone, on your own?

I like the song Me and Jesus by Steller Kart, and this is the chorus...
Someone loves you even when you don't think so, don't you know you've got me and Jesus, by your side, through the fight you will never be alone on your own, cause you've got me and Jesus.

I love that song, cause it just talks about, how we will always have God on our side, and that you will always have someone by your side. Someone named God. He will always love and, and will always be there. He will always listen to you talk, and listen to you cry, and to you laugh. He will be glad when you are happy, and sad when you are down. He will always be on your side... all you have to do is let him. All you have to do is accept that gift that is being held out to you...

Who is always on your side? Me and Jesus! Don't forget that song, and you are never alone. Someone else has the same struggle as you, you just have to find them. And let people trust you with their problems in life, cause for some people it takes a lot of courage to tell someone what you are going through. For other people it is easy, but no matter what, just listen, they same way they will listen to you when you talk. And remember...
Someone loves you even when you don't think so... ME AND JESUS!! Jesus loves you so much he died on the cross for you, and I would take a bullet for you, and I mean it when I say that. Someone loves you...Jesus does, and I do too!

Will you give someone else the love that God gave you? Or will you just hold it all in?

How AWESOME is OUR GOD?

Last night I hung out with a few friends at a friends house, and we hung out and did what girls do at sleepovers, but something was different about this one.... something amazing happened.

We had just watched a movie and everyone but me and 3 other people had fallen asleep, so the 4 of us just stayed up and talked till like 4:00 in the morning. We were all about to go to sleep and we had just said goodnight and someone got up and went to the bathroom. I didn't think much of it, cause you know... were humans and yeah... but when they came back they were crying, and trying to get the attention of the host of the party. She was asleep and she is a really deep sleeper. She was totally out. But one of my friends knew who it was and asked if she was okay, she said no. So the girl (Sue) asked Bob (the girl who was crying) if she wanted her to wake up the host and she said... yes please! So... she woke her up, but she was a really deep sleeper and she didn't get up. By this time, the other 3 of us were talking to Bob and making sure that she was okay. She said that her stomach really hurt, she was dizzy, she could barely and she was shaking. The pain got like 10 times worse and she started to cry harder, so we tried to settle her down and worked really hard to wake up Josie (the host) and get Josie to go and wake up her mom. Finally we got her up but she didn't get up right away. Bob was still in a ton of pain! So.. finally after explaining the story to Josie like 3 or 4 times she actually got up, and went to get her mom from upstairs, since her mom was a nurse and she would know what to do better then what we would know, since we were only teen girls. Josie and Sue went upstairs to get Josie's mom, and me, and 2 other girls we still down stairs with Bob. Then Sam (one of the girls downstairs) came up with a really good idea, she was like.... hey Bob, do you want me to pray for you? And Bob was like YES! So, then Sam prayed for Bob, and right after Sam said amen... Bob said, it's gone! And we were like seriously? And she was like yes! It is totally gone! And then it was just like this moment of like wow! 2 of the girls started to cry and oh it was awesome! We were all so close to crying! (and for me... crying doesnt happen that offten... but I was pretty close... it was just plain awesome) It was just awesome! She said she felt like there was a knife being stabbed into her stomach and then when Sam said amen... it was just taken out and gone. God sent like a miracle, the power of prayer. We all just sat there in silence and just thought about how awesome that was, and we knew it had to come from God. It was just gone and she was fine. Later it came back and we just prayed for her again, and we just asked God to take the pain from her and we could tell even though it wasn't totally better, it was so much better then it was the first time.

Later that night, or this morning... I guess you could call it. I was just thinking about how cool that was, and it just shows how powerful God really is. Cause like he takes care of us, his children and he watches over us all the time. And like when we pray, he answers. For me, it just showed me how powerful God is, and that he does everything for a reason. Like he had the four of us stay up that late, cause if we weren't up, she would have been having a really hard time, and she would have been all alone. And I just connected it to my life... how God has a plan for my life, just like he had a plan for us staying up and talking that late, and praying for Bob and all that. Even the small things God has a plan for, and even the littlest things in our lives God cares about and takes care of. And just the power of prayer, and how God really does listen to it, and he takes care of it, all we have to do is ask, and God will chose how he wants to answer.

So, whatever is going on in your life that is hard, go ahead and talk to God about it, and he will do what he wants to do in the situation, and you may say... well doesn't he know everything? So, why do I have to tell him? But like, God likes to hear it from us, his children, just like your parents like to hear about your day at school, so does your father in Heaven.

So, I challenge you... do the next for minuets... just talk to God and let him know what is going on in your life, and he will just sit and listen, like a good friend would. Or find a quiet spot where you can just sit and talk to God. But make sure not to just talk to him like Santa Clause, but make sure that you give God some time to talk too! Once you have talked to God and told him everything that you wanted to tell him, just give God 5 mins to talk back to you, for all the time he let you talk. That's my challenge for you today. And maybe you will get something amazing like what God did for us!

When Did I Become A Christian? How Much Have I Grown Since Then?

Let's start at the beginning... where it all started. I was 3 or 4 and I asked God into my heart, as a little girl. I have always grown up in a Christian home. My Dad has always been a Christian influence on my life, and well I would love to say that my mom was too... but as most of you know... my mom died when I was little. 1 and 1/2... and that has really affected me, no matter if people see it or not, it has affected me in ways that a lot of you will never get. Because you have a mom... and trust me, you don't know what it is like without one till you don't have one.

I would say I have grown some here and there.... little by little I am learning new lessons everyday about God and about my life. There is a verse that has helped me a lot and brought me a lot closer to God and that verse is Jeremiah 29:11... and yes I have said this verse a ton of times but it has helped me in so many ways that some of you have no idea what it would be like. But that verse just spoke to me a lot during a really hard time in my life. Just to know that God had a plan for my life was awesome, and that he was planning things for my life, even when the times we hard. I didn't really understand that verse for a long time, but one day when I was having a really hard day... it did. That God had a plan for me, and that it was better then anything I could ever imagine. Better then my own plans...

I have grown a lot over the last year. I also a strayed from God a lot and questioned Him a lot about a lot of stuff, but I guess you could say through it all God has shown himself to me, through the awesome blessings in my life... (that would includes you... knight, lingho, benny from persia), because you have always been there for me, and helped me during the hard times in my life. And they have kept me accountable and kept me strong.

But, back to my little years... my nanny accepted Christ with me, when I was a little girl, about the age of 4. I have gone to church my whole life, on both Sundays and Wednesdays... my dad always made me go, I didn't understand, cause I always learned the same things... so I kinda just went to church, didn't really care much about it, and of course I went to a private school, and always learned about God there too, but it was always the same Bible stories, and it never really changed. So... eventually I a strayed from God...

This summer I moved up to JH at my church, and that just made things a lot better. I know LOVE going to church, because my youth pastor is awesome, and she always has awesome points about everything. She has helped me grow in my faith so much, and I am so thankful for that. One night at church, we had an awesome speaker... and he talked about some things that I will never forget, somethings that really shocked me... but the most imported one was that he talked about if God came back today... or if you died today.... where would you be headed? After listening to him talk about his testimony, I ended up rededicating my life to Christ last October. And ever since then... it has just been a journey for me.

Another person in my life who has helped me a lot is my Bible teacher... he is awesome! He puts everything in views that I understand and get, and that are easy for my little brain to understand. He put Bible stories into contact of our world today, and he has helped me grow so much in my faith and love for God.

Another person is a really awesome friend of mine... well two of them... you two know who you are... I have friends that keep me accountable and help me stay strong as the world falls apart around me. I look forward to seeing them everyday at school, and talking to them. They are awesome and trustworthy. If I tell them not to repeat what I say, I know they won't, and it will stay with them. I can tell them my prayer requests and they pray for me, and keep me strong for God. They are both women of God, and I can see him working in them everyday by the way they act toward me, and toward other people. They show me what I should be like, and set an example on my life. So... you know who you are.... thanks for that!

I have lost a lot....God may have taken a friend out of my life, but I know he had a reason in doing that, cause he has given me awesome friends that I love so much, that influence me and help me, pick me up when I fall... and just make me laugh, and make my life a lot easier. And I never said not having a mom was easy, now did I? Cause, if I said that... that's a total lie, I may be good at making it look easy, but just think about it for a minuet.... I live with 2 guys... no girls... how often do you talk to your mom? Some more then others... but how often do you do something with your mom? A LOT I bet... but you see, I don't have that... I don't have a mom, and yes, I will be completely honest, it's pretty hard on me, but again that verse just comes back to me. God has a plan for me, and I am just so thankful that he does. And that it is better then my own. He has already shown me some of that plan... just by telling me what I am supposed to do in my life. Helping me understand the purpose for me in my life. And I know that is only a small part. I am just thankful for everything that God has done for me over the past few years.

Although I may not understand everything God does for me, I am just thankful he does everything that he does in my life, cause I know it is all for a plan and a purpose.

So... here are the short answers to you questions...

When did I become a Christian? For the first time at 4 and then again at 13
How much have I grown since then? I don't know... I guess you could say a lot

So... if you are having a hard time in your life... don't you ever forget that God has a plan for your life, and that he loves you, and will take care of you!

What Is The Meaning of Life?

I don't really know the meaning of life, but this is my point of view. God made this world for us to enjoy... he gave us nature to look nice so we have pretty things all around us to make us think of how awesome God is. And really the meaning of life is up to you.

What do you want to live your life for?
Who do you want to live your life for?

I would say the meaning of life for me, is to become closer to God and let him do what he wants in my life. No matter if that is someone thing hard or easy, because of God wants me to do it, I know that anything is possible if God wants it to happen, he will be there right at your side helping you along the way.

Your meaning of life is up to you... but if you want to dedicate your life to Christ, then all you have to do is ask him. You have to let him have full and complete control of your life, and you have to make that choice for yourself. No one can make that choice for you; you have to make it for yourself. But as soon as you give God your life, he will use it in amazing ways. He will use your talents in the way he wants to use them, and he will do what he wants to do in your life.

So... what is your meaning in life? What do you want to make of you life? What are some accomplishments that you want to carry through with? But don't forget that as soon as you give your life to Christ, he will use it the way he wants to. And even if you don’t understand why God wants to do this or that with your life... all you have to do is trust that his plan is better then your own. So the meaning of life... to praise God and bring other to him, and to do what you can to work for the best master that anyone could serve, Jesus Christ!

Hey You All! I was just wondering if anyone had any questions for me. It could be about my spirtual journey, my life at home whatever you want to ask, but if you have a question for me don't be too scared to ask! I am open to answering anything! So ask away!!!!!!

~Jesusfreak

Who Am I? ~Casting Crowns

I was thinking about what to write about on my blog, and I was just sitting here and thinking about what I should write, and so I thought for a while about what I should write, a friend gave me an idea, but I didn't really know how to describe it. So I thought about what I should talk about and a few ideas came into my head, but I didn't know what to say about them. I had music playing in the background and this song really just popped out to me.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

I like the verses a lot, cause they really stand out to me. Read the verses one more time and just think about it. I am going to pick two verses that to me have an awesome meaning and maybe they will stand out to you.

Who am I? That the Lord of ALL the earth would care to know my name?
When I was singing along with the song and it came to that verse... okay well maybe it came to me a few minuets but whatever. And like when I was thinking about it and thinking about the chorus. And like when you really think of it.... God is the LORD OF ALL THE EARTH, and he created everything in it, and compared to the huge world we are just about as big as a speck of dust, but the Lord still knows us and cares about us and has a plan for our lives. We are so so small but God still cares about us. And like we are just as small as a little ant crawling around on the ground and you see so many of those and you are like there is enough of them around the world it won't hurt to kill one, but then when you think of yourself, you are just as small as an ant to God, probably even smaller, but he still cares about you, and wants to be your friend. And he knows you name! He cared to know your name, even though you were so small.
The other verse that I really like is...

Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again.

And there isn't much to say about that verse, but I thought it was really cool. Because just for a few minuets, think with me for a second. Think about all the millions of things that you have done wrong. All the times you have sworn, been a jerk to a friend, punched or yelled at your brother or sister, said something mean to anyone... all those things and way more, how many times have you done that? Like a million! If you are human that is. If you told a friend everything you have ever done wrong do you think they would still love you the same? And think of you the same way? Well, God does. He has seen all your faults and mistakes and he still loves you just the same. He loves you just the same no matter how many things you do wrong. Someone one said to me "NOTHING you could ever do would make God love you less!" Nothing! You hear that nothing?! Nothing that you could ever do could make God love you less! He will always love you the same, no matter how much you do wrong.

And then the chorus... read it again...

It just talks about how small we are, and compares us to a flower that comes and goes, a wave in the ocean.... just think about that, how many waves are in the ocean? WAY MORE then you could ever count, a vapor in the wind.... wow see how small now? We are that small but God still loves us! He cares about each little person on this earth, and he cares about everyone of you so much! And God has a plan for everyone of you! He knows what he is doing in your life and he is excited to show you the awesome things he is doing in your life. But we just have to be patient and wait for the time when God will show us everything he wants to show us, but on his own time.

We are all so small, but God loves us all and he cares about everyone of you just the same. No one is better then someone else, maybe just cause your friend read the Bible everyday or goes to Church every week doesn't make God love them more and you less! He loves everyone and he has a plan for everyone... no matter how hard to believe it's one thing I know is true! And God is just a plain awesome person... he loves us even after he sees all our sin... wow that's amazing!

God loves and cares for YOU don't you EVER forget that!

An Awesome Reminder

Someone once said this: "Everyone needs one person in their lives that can keep them accountable and someone that they can take their mask off and show who they really are to."

Have you ever saw someone and you were just like they have a perfect life? I have seen people like that all the time. They get perfect grades, they have perfect parents, and they have everything that anyone could ever want. When I see someone with a prefect life, sometimes I am just like, God, why can't I be like them? Why did you make me with such a horrible life, and why does everyone else have such a perfect one? Because to me it sure seems like some people have no problems in life, but little by little I have seen that that isn't true.

No one has a perfect life, no matter how perfect it seems. We have have struggles, but some of us are just pretty good at covering them up, with our favorite toys... our masks. For some of us we use them a lot and for some of you, maybe you have never really experienced a mask. But, make sure if you start that mask that you don't get too used to yourself with that mask, or a little too used to it. Cause I know what that is like.

I was me, but really I wasn't. I was being someone else, someone that I thought I had to be, and that only got harder and harder. I would change who I was depending on who I was with. I would be one person with one person and someone else with someone else, cause I didn't want that person to look down on me. I did that for a long time. Probably for about like 2 years, I was that multi-faced person. And I lost who I really was. For some time, the person I had made myself to be started taking over the person who I really was, cause I couldn't stand being taken down by someone if I showed them who I really was, and once you lose who you are... good luck finding it. I totally lost who I really was, and I was soon someone, and I had no idea who I really was, and it took a lot of time and effort to find out again who I really was, but little by little, I am learning who I really am, it isn't easy, but slowly, I am learning that there is no reason to try and be someone else, cause God made me who I am and I just have to accept that God made me the way I am for a plan a purpose, and that He has an awesome plan for me, even when I don't see it. And who I really am, is a better person then the person that I want to be, cause God created me for who I was supposed to be, and he is planning a journey for me and just wants to know if I want to come.

So, I encourage you to find a friend that you trust, and then actually show them the real you. I have a friend who has helped me to be who God created me to be, and it just helps to know that I have a trustworthy friend that I can always count on to come to, and who will always make sure I don't do anything dumb. Little by little I have been able to show more of who I really am, and I know that isn't easy to take off the mask you have worn all your life, I know what that's like, but when it comes down to it... look around.... everyone has a struggle of some sort, maybe they are really good at hiding it, but we all have had something go wrong in our lives, no matter how big or small it was/is, we all have. We are all the same when it comes down to it, we are all weak sinners, who need a Savior.

So, if you don't already have that person, I encourage you to find someone you trust and who you are willing to show the real you, and if you don't even know who you are, I know where your at, and just take some time to reflect on who you are when no one else is looking... cause that is probably the real you. And once you find that person, be open with them, and make sure that you can really be yourself, the real you that God created you to be. He created you perfect in his eyes, no matter what anyone else says.

You know who you are: Thanks for showing me who I really was, and coming into my life, and showing me the person that I really should be, and that maybe no one else's oppion really matters, cause God loves me just the way I am. Thanks for everything you do! And for being such an inspiration in my life. You are really a women of God, and I see him working in you everyday. Thanks for teaching me awesome new lessons this past year. Thanks a million, I don't know how I could ever repay you. Love you lots and lots!! ~Jesusfreak

Thanks a million!

Hey Friends! I just wanted to say thanks! Thanks for making my 2006 an okay year. You are all such a blessing in my life, and I am so blessed to have you as friends. You make me smile, you make me cry, you make me laugh so hard and you make me feel at home, and of course you make me happy! I want to thank some people...

Hot Pink: Wow! What to say? Thank you so much for an awesome year! You helped me so much! You showed me that God has a plan for my life, even when I can't see it. Thanks for always being there for me, and listening to my hours and hours of talking and complaining. You are an awesome friend to me, and I am so blessed that God put you in my life. You make me laugh and you make me cry tears of joy! You are an awesome influence on my life, and you help me along my path of life. My path isn't always hard, but you have always picked me up for the many times I fell down. You taught me so much this year, and you are a major influence on my life. To be honest, I didn't really know who I was before this year, because I had made myself someone that I wasn't, and I was so used to that person, but little by little I have learned who I really am, and who God made me to be. Thanks for always being there for me for everything! You are very loyal, and you are always open to listening to me talk for hours on end about nothing, as I talk about my life, that is pretty boring and you just listen and you give me advice. You encourage me in so many ways, and that helps me so much! Just to know that someone really does care about me, and you are just a very caring and compassionate person. You always make sure that my day is going okay, and you always build me back up when the day is going horrible. You can always make me laugh even when I am having the worst day ever! Thanks for everything that you do for me! You make me my hard hard world easier. You smile at me and give me notes and you do millions for me! So, thanks for everything! I love you so much! You are such a blessing and I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know how I could ever thank you enough for everything that you have done for me. There is no way that I could repay you, thanks for just being an awesome friend! And always remember, God has a plan for your life, even when it doesn't seem that way!

Graprgirl: I don't know where to start with you... Lets start with a thanks! Thanks a million! Every morning, as I walk in that history door you are always sitting in your desk and all I have to do is smile. You are always sitting in your desk smiling or talking to a friend, and you always look so happy! You always write me notes, and you always listen to me as I talk. I talk and talk about pointless things and you just sit there and listen. So, thanks for doing that. You are an awesome friend to me, and I am so blessed to have you in my life. You are always there for me, and when I look down, you always make sure that I am okay. You always make me laugh, just cause its fun, and laughing makes the day better. And we are very violent... :) So, Grape, you are awesome! You are loyal and you always make sure I am okay, and you always ask for my prayer requests and you pray for them. We have fun times when we hang out, so thanks... "you make me happy!" Thanks for everything! I am so blessed to have you in my life! To have an awesome friend like you is amazing! I don't understand why you like to hang out with me, a weird, jerk, and boring person like me, but you always do. You are always so forgiving! Every time I mess up, which I know I do a lot, you always are just like its totally fine, and I am just like... thank you! You always forgive me every time I mess up. Thanks for everything! You are such a blessing! And remember the same as I told Hot Pink, God has a plan for your life, even when it doesn't seem that way.

Thank you all my friends for everything! You make my world so much better! You make me smile and you make me cry. You are always there for me, and since I don't have a mom, it is awesome to have friends that are always there for me, and talk to me when I want to talk, and have fun with me, and just give me some time to spend with girls. Thank you all so much for teaching me everything that you have taught me, which is a lot. I have grown closer to God, thanks to both of you! Thanks a million for everything! Love you all lots! I don't know why you all want to be friends with me, but I am just glad that you gave me a chance. I am sorry for all the times that I mess up, and that I will mess up, and for the times that my mess ups hurt you, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean too! I am so blessed to have friends like you in my life. God is amazing for putting you in my life! I hope you all have an awesome 2007, and that God will open your eyes to new things everyday. Love you all lots, and thanks a million for everything!!


~Slick/Ling Ho 2/Jesusfreak

God...

It's January 3, 2007... wow that's weird to think about.... but it is. Lucky me, I got to go back to school today, that was so much fun just to be there... not! But anyway... as I said in the last post, lessons, lessons, lessons... I learn new ones everyday... I even learned something new about a piano today, ask me if you really want to know...

But, this past 2006 year, for me was a major year of lessons, and here is just one more thing that God has taught me this past year. I learned something really cool just about last month, and it came from something that someone said. For those of you who actually watched the testimony that I put on here, this will make more sense for you, but for others I will try to make it so you can understand, but I don't know if it will have the same meaning... and I really encourage you to listen to that, and you can just listen you don't even have to watch it, but just listening to it means a million.

God is teaching me something that I never really had thought about before. Here are the words right from Mark's testimony... "Mark, I don't need you.... I want you! Do you think that all these fears and limitations and all these things that make you feel so small are worrying me? Do you think that all these little initials that you got from all these little tests when you are young are weighing me down? Mark, I am going to do something in the world and I just want to know if you want to come."

That really hit me really hard one night. I was talking to my friend on IM, just like I always do, and I was listening to the testimony as I was talking, and all of a sudden it hit me, and it hit me hard. I don't know if you have ever felt God hit you and tell you something, and wow, that has happened to me a lot, but if you have, you know what I am talking about. It hit me super hard that night, and as I thought about it, a lot was going through me head that night as I was talking to my friend on IM.

To think that God didn't need me, but he wanted me, was like what?! Why would God want me? I am a girl, I have nothing. I don't have any talent, I'm not special... why God would you want me? Some kid, I'm not smart, I don't have anything special about me, I am just me. Why do you want me? But what comes next in his testimony... the next line says..."I am going to do something in the world, and I just want to know if you want to come." That line was repeating it self over and over in my head that night... and it was like this... ____, I don't need you, I want you! Everything that Mark says after that was like... wow! I don't even know how to explain it, but it was just like I was like wow!
And just as it is for me, God wants you... fill in the blank with your name as you read this one more time...

"_____ I don't NEED YOU, I WANT YOU!"

God wants you, he made you just the way that he wanted to, and he doesn't need you, he wants you! That is one thing that he showed me this past year, and all you have to do is let him take control. God may have given you some difficulties or limitations or whatever, but God says, they don't worry me, I know I made you that way, and I made you perfect, with a plan and a purpose just the way I made you.

I know that probably at times, we have all said this, God, if I was only him or her or this or that then you could use me, but me? I'm ____ and _____ why do you want to use me? I'm nothing. Yeah, how many times have I thought that? A million... I am just like, God, if you just made me like him or her then I would do it, but me, I can't do it. But God doesn't need you, he wants you! He wants to show the world what he can do through someone that will let him work in them. God will show the world awesome stuff, but only if you let him.

______, I don't need you, I want you! ~God