It was a dark, yet calm night as Abby lay in the green grass contained in her front yard. She lay there, looking at the stars above her, thinking. Her mind was filled with many different things that had gone on that day. The message her pastor gave that morning in Church, the things that went on with her friends at school, the fights she got into, the fights with her parents, her brother, her family. But mostly, she was thinking about what they had talked about in Church that morning.
She remembered her pastor talking about the future, and how God had it all planned out, but for her, that wasn't easy for her to do. She didn't want to give God her life and her all, she loved having the control and being able to control her own life on her own. She liked being able to have the power to do whatever she wanted. She didn't want someone to tell her and lead her to where she was going, she wanted to walk on her own. She lay looking into the night sky, the stars shining brightly, although all she wanted was the control she had. She remember that he pastor had said it would be easier when God had control, but she didn't like that, she loved the control she had. But for some reason, she decided to just for once try it, let God have the control for once, let God plan her future.
And ya know, sometimes that's all of us. We like to control what's going on here, or what's happening there. We like to have the power and control what's going on around us, and we don't want to let God plan our future. And sometimes I know for me, I like my own future cause I see what's coming up ahead. We like being able to see what's coming ahead in our future, and with God we can't do that, because God has his own plans, but they are so much better then our own. We serve an awesome God, and sometimes we just have to be able to let it all go, and lay it at his feet, instead of keeping all the control for ourselves.
Stupid, but just thinking.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Ya I really don't know.
Who knew that a late night/early morning conversation could turn into something that got my mind going, and got me to think. Who knew that something someone said could change a whole lot? Who knew there was a reason that I would go to a friends house last night? Who knew that there was a reason that things went the way they did? Who knew? I didn't, but God did.
It was about 4:00am in the morning when you said what you did. When the words came out of your mouth. When what you said was placed in my head. When I realized that it's not just me, it's not just you, it's everyone. When you said the things you said, I thought for a moment, but that's nothing like you, but then I remember this little thing called a mask.
Yes, we all have one, we all play them out at sometime or another. I would have never guessed that you would have gone through anything, I never would have been able to tell, I never could have guessed it, but you told me. You have a mask, I have a mask, we all do. No matter if we want to admit it or not, around someone we all have a mask, or we put up walls so that people can't go into certain areas of us. For different people it's different things, but somehow and for some reason, we like to fake that every thing's always okay. For some reason, we all like to push the pain and the hurt away.
For me, it may be different. My barriers may be different than yours, my mask may not be the same as yours and most likely isn't the same. No matter the case or the reason, we all have a different story, we have things that we hide from other people, there are things we don't tell anyone. There are things that no one, but you knows. There are days when you play the "happy mask" and try to cover everything up. But, when you look at a person, all you see is the outside layer, the first layer. When you look at a building that you have never been in before, you don't know what the inside looks like until you get there. It's the same with us. When you look at a person, all you see is the outside of that person, maybe the mask, not the real person.
You have layers that you have to go through before you can get to the bottom layer. You have places you have to go before you can see what is really happening to them. We all like the masks, maybe some are really good at wearing them too. Really good at faking everyone out. Really good at making everything look okay. Maybe it's because no one ever asks them how they really are, or what's going on in life. Sometimes it's not as easy to see what's going on from the outside, without being able to see the inside, the hurt, the pain, the scars.
I don't know what's gone on in YOUR life, I don't know what YOUR dealing with right now. Maybe I haven't seen the real you, maybe all I've seen is your mask, maybe that's all anyone has seen. Maybe you haven't shown anyone what's behind that mask, maybe you've closed off everything and hid everything from the world, all the pain in you. I don't know what's going on in your life today, right now, I don't know the pain you are dealing with, but I do know that God has an awesome plan for your life. I know what pains life, I've been there, I felt it, but I also know that God will always be there and be by your side. I don't know what's coming up ahead, but God does. And if you haven't let anyone see what's behind that mask, just know that someone does know, and you don't have to hide from him. When you need someone to listen, he'll always be there and listen, and you can't hide anything from him, cause he already knows. And I encourage you, if you haven't shown anyone, I encourage you to find a friend that you trust, and talk to them, cause sometimes it's hard to keep everything in, and sometimes talking to a close friend can help. And they can pray for you and such, but that's just my advice.
And don't forget, God created you with a plan, I know it won't always be easy, but we have to wait on his time, and when you have no strength to move on, just fall on him, he'll catch you.
It was about 4:00am in the morning when you said what you did. When the words came out of your mouth. When what you said was placed in my head. When I realized that it's not just me, it's not just you, it's everyone. When you said the things you said, I thought for a moment, but that's nothing like you, but then I remember this little thing called a mask.
Yes, we all have one, we all play them out at sometime or another. I would have never guessed that you would have gone through anything, I never would have been able to tell, I never could have guessed it, but you told me. You have a mask, I have a mask, we all do. No matter if we want to admit it or not, around someone we all have a mask, or we put up walls so that people can't go into certain areas of us. For different people it's different things, but somehow and for some reason, we like to fake that every thing's always okay. For some reason, we all like to push the pain and the hurt away.
For me, it may be different. My barriers may be different than yours, my mask may not be the same as yours and most likely isn't the same. No matter the case or the reason, we all have a different story, we have things that we hide from other people, there are things we don't tell anyone. There are things that no one, but you knows. There are days when you play the "happy mask" and try to cover everything up. But, when you look at a person, all you see is the outside layer, the first layer. When you look at a building that you have never been in before, you don't know what the inside looks like until you get there. It's the same with us. When you look at a person, all you see is the outside of that person, maybe the mask, not the real person.
You have layers that you have to go through before you can get to the bottom layer. You have places you have to go before you can see what is really happening to them. We all like the masks, maybe some are really good at wearing them too. Really good at faking everyone out. Really good at making everything look okay. Maybe it's because no one ever asks them how they really are, or what's going on in life. Sometimes it's not as easy to see what's going on from the outside, without being able to see the inside, the hurt, the pain, the scars.
I don't know what's gone on in YOUR life, I don't know what YOUR dealing with right now. Maybe I haven't seen the real you, maybe all I've seen is your mask, maybe that's all anyone has seen. Maybe you haven't shown anyone what's behind that mask, maybe you've closed off everything and hid everything from the world, all the pain in you. I don't know what's going on in your life today, right now, I don't know the pain you are dealing with, but I do know that God has an awesome plan for your life. I know what pains life, I've been there, I felt it, but I also know that God will always be there and be by your side. I don't know what's coming up ahead, but God does. And if you haven't let anyone see what's behind that mask, just know that someone does know, and you don't have to hide from him. When you need someone to listen, he'll always be there and listen, and you can't hide anything from him, cause he already knows. And I encourage you, if you haven't shown anyone, I encourage you to find a friend that you trust, and talk to them, cause sometimes it's hard to keep everything in, and sometimes talking to a close friend can help. And they can pray for you and such, but that's just my advice.
And don't forget, God created you with a plan, I know it won't always be easy, but we have to wait on his time, and when you have no strength to move on, just fall on him, he'll catch you.
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