Thoughts Today

If what I saw in the movie was really me and you, I think that would be the best time of my life. The thing is, I don't know where I'm at anymore, I don't what I'm doing right, or the many things I'm doing wrong. The people I'm blowing off, the things I chose not to share, just because I can't contain them anymore.

If it was just you and me, and we were sitting in the darkness of the night, with the oceans waves crashing below us, when no one else was around, and it was a dark night, and the light was only the light of the light we brought with us, maybe things would be different. Maybe I would feel as though I really could tell you everything, and that I really could let you know whats going on right now, but for some reason, I don't have the guts to.

Life is life, and it's not always fun for me. Living with two guys can be a pain in the butt, cause they don't understand anything. And plus, they don't know that sometimes us as girls want some time alone, and not with you around. Sometimes, we just need friends to talk to and help us through everything we are going through, whether they are just sitting and watching us, or holding us in their arms, sometimes that's all we need. Sometimes someone willing to stand by my side is all I could ever want. Sometime it takes more than than. Step back and look, I'm an ordinary girl growing up without a Mom. Done it since I was not even 2. I'm used to it. Does that mean it's easy? No. Does that mean it kills most of the time? Yeah. Does that mean I don't trust God with it? No, I do trust Him, do I understand why? No, but I trust Him, and hope He really does know what He is doing, cause I sure don't.

Sometimes, I just don't understand and wish that perfect movie picture was true. Sometimes all I want is to be with someone, and talk to them and get my feelings out, and have them listen, and give me hugs, comfort me, encourage me, cause I need it more than they know.